what else to do on a saturday night...

omg. loves it.

where the lazy things are

Tomorrow i'm going to trust korean equipment regardless of my non-korean size and jump off a cliff to go hand gliding. ekkk... how exciting. today i'm just going to be lazy and think about the 1 million things i could be doing instead of upload cd's onto louis computer and fussing over making the perfect play list for the ipod. this playlist includes including the spice girls which nash sent to me by mistake (the cd was labeled final fantasy and i was soo excited to hear little owen sing us some gay songs so imagine my surprise when i'm transported back to those much music watching days and i can clearly see the video for wannabe in my head).

i'm home alone for the first time in what seems like a milliondy years, maybe since march when i moved in with jenny. i've always lived with other people, only that one time when i subletted that little place on brunswick for 6 months and the roommate went to Vancouver for 4 of them...maybe that was the closest i've come to living alone, and then in Korea for 5 months. i remember the feeling of complete loneliness that i felt when i first got here, especially when i was just in my little apartment doing nothing. i would come home and think that my shirt on the ground was patches or that sweater in a ball on the bed was tasha the cat and wish that it was them so at least i would be able to hear the sound of my own voice without thinking i was just talking to myself. now i talk to the plants.

i'm a mess, in this picture a glowing mess. coffee cups flying and then i stink like coffee and the kitchen is covered in stinky grinds and morning time bliss that has definitely been wiped away by screaming children and my crazy brain. but today wasn't too bad. i got to teach the "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar" chant song to a class full of little guys (age 4 not speaking a lick of english) and then to the older kids who made up the best doo wop dance moves to it. dancing with laughing beasts for 30 min actually made my day. but the best of me is wiped away by nothing, a word a flick a i dunnoooooo and i'm not who i was 5 min ago. i downloaded guided by voices and nearly cried over the flood of amazing times in my head that rushed to my head like new blood. i'm sad that i missed toronto time halloween, which we all know halloween is the best holiday when your gay. god, straight people have no idea why halloween is amazing, it's like a present for the queers and i loved it. and i miss it.