....is a yeasty irish cake that we eat
around halloween. I'm a yeasty irish gal
..yeasty meaning: youthful; exuberant; ebullient.


my freckles

are fading faster than you can say "Anapurna", and so are the memories of being in india. im semi giving up on korea. once again i don't know what to do. i've given myself one month.

the pros of staying:
-my job is FANTASTIC. the kids are AMAZING and lovely and they call all pronounce my name (this is a biggie believe me!!)
-my apartment (minus the fact that i got to put up all the dosh for it) is super cozy and i've made it into a craftastic pad (kristin remember kraft korner????)

-feeling lonely often, too often.
-not having the needed paperwork yet for the job...
-being ready to go, when i feel stuck here...

blah. today i feel blah. yesterday great, the last few days fucking fantastic.. but today blah.


day four

yesterday i picked up my bike and i zoomed (well andrea styles zoomed which means not zoomed at all...) around bundang singing stevie wonder at the top of my lungs. who doesn't love a girl with white hair on a granny bike singing superstition...? I'm so happy to have my bike back and to see that winter didn't destroy it as i was worried it would have. I went to teach a lesson yesterday and the woman has a 27 month old kid, and for the hour i was there the kid was breastfeeding. is this normal? do kids older than 2 breast feed? and the kid was GIANT like a 3 year old, so maybe that's why she needed an hour of milk... strange...

i'm staying at my friend's house for this week and it's interesting living with a korean family. her parents can't speak much english so poor Hwa sun has to sit and listen to her mother and then translate everything and wait for my response and do the same. and from watching Tarumina and Darmesh do this all the time in india, i know it can be exhausting.

and i get to eat fish and rice for breakfast.

so the past few days have been better and better. the initial shock has worn off and i'm feeling alright. well nearly all right. i'm so happy to have my friends. to get letters from everyone and to know that i have so many close connections with people in so many places. and this makes me wonder why i don't have this in korea. you know, i left india after meeting some amazing people in bhopal that i know i will keep in contact with ...and i have such an easy time making friends all over, but why the hell not in korealand? maybe things will change now that the situation is make friends or be alone.

ciao bellas


smoking cigarettes in a PC room because i don't konw what else to do...

i think today could be the worst day of my life so far. returning to korea with a heart full of love and a stomach full of pain, louis greeted me at the airport with the most unfortunate news, that he was no longer in love with me. no longer attracted to me. no longer no longer no.... what the fuck to do. my little french man, my bestest friend, my heart, my poor broken heart. i'm crying and crying and surrounded by video games and surrounded by korean and i want to go home. it's all i can think. why the fuck what the fuck etc etc and ohmygod my stomach pain lessened... because i guess somewhere deep down inside i knew it was coming. and what the fuck to do.. what am i going to do. i spent too much time here with him that i don't know what to do here without him. i'm homeless for a week and confused as fuck. we were supposed to move into a new apartment together on sunday, but now i have to pay the rent alone and now i have to be there alone and now... and now..and tears and sad... i want my nash and my brock and my sister and my emily and i want it all in one and i want to be sane...


so long, farewell, i don't know how to spell in german...

how can i say goodbye to india? well however i do it today, i will be doing it from the toilet i'm sure. i've been sick for 90% of the time i've been here, i do believe. india and my stomach do not agree. and now i go home. and what do i go home to? i don't know. louis and i have not communicated in a week because well... i have no idea... he doesn't call me and doesn't answer his phone or email which leads me to believe that i may return to korea to face some horrible situation i didn't think would be the outcome of this trip. and for a small part i think my latest bout of stomach pain is due to this situation.... i'm so confused and angry and ramblely... blah. blah x 20000000.

anyway, ignore the above verbal diarrhea (since i'm full of it anyway) and what else. today i forgot i was back in Delhi and wore a dress. after the walk of shame i just did to go get breakfast I'm weary of going back outside to walk to the hotel to change my clothes.

home i go ...