rainy days

make me sleepy, sad, happy and lonely all jumbled into one Andrea in a giant yellow raincoat biking in the rain. The yellow raincoat makes the world sound different and I feel like I'm inside a tent (which gives me that instant- happy- tenty- feeling) because the raincoat makes the rain sound like how the rain sounds when you are hearing it from inside a tent.. you know?!

Alternatives journal is publishing my piece on Sambhavna's garden in their summer issue, and SAGE is doing the Chingari story in their spring issue - how freaking exciting is that!! I finally feel like I'm doing something - not that i feel like I've been doing nothing forever, but you know, i guess yeah, i sort of feel like I've been doing nothing for awhile now.

I taught a class on Monday that had 21, 13 year old students in it... 21!!! that's 3x what I'm used to, and for some reason i became nervous and was blushing, omg, the constant blushing! I'm pretty used to teaching the 6 year olds who never question and just want to give you their undying love. "why is your face so red teacher?" .. omg kid, shut up because now I'm a cherry!

so in regard to the subject of my cherry red face, here is a picture i took of the river by my house. banks lined with the most beautiful cherry blossoms in full bloom on the trees, and how sad...they have all floated away now on the wind, and a lot of them floated into my mouth/face/hair/eyes while i was biking, but hey, being showered in cherry blossoms petals by the wind can't be anyone's complaint!

fin

dancing to the music in my head

I now live for the weekend. I've never lived for the weekend before. when i lived in Toronto i didn't even have a weekend, my off days were weekdays and hey, when i lived in Toronto everyday was Friday (well..especially during those nash and andrea days...) but now it's weekday flying by and HEY! here's friday and let's party. this weekend was a party. dancing my pants off, well, my shoes off (why do i always take my shoes off? dirty tights, dirty feet and killer sore feet the next day) of course this all night dancing happened after Justin and i did an all day biking to the han river beside Seoul, a 4 hour biking experience that i do once in awhile to remember just how sore your ass can get from a bike seat.

Sunday was an impromptu picnic in the park where we found a hidden tennis court that was like a ghost town..(well we took the back road way up to court, so maybe it just gave us the feeling of an abandoned ghost town tennis court in the middle of a huge park in Korea...) drinking wine, eating bread and cheese and talking till the wee hours... I'm really into eating onions these days.

goodnight pumpkins of the world.

all i want to do is ride bikes with you

how beautiful is spring in korea? Even though the cherry blossoms don't last longer than a heart beat or blink of an eye, it makes you appreciate them so much more. And all the colours and the warmth, oh i feel like I'm in love. Last year at this time I was watching Teri and a million Korean men run a half marathon through all the spring time wonder. I think about this time last year, and i feel like I'm in that same place, with a little difference here and there (accumulated knowledge about myself and accumulated travel etc) and it's strange. strange because it seems the last whatever with whomever didn't even happen. a fog covered hazy whatever. and you know, not upset about it at all. at first i was pretty upset. "I'm in the exact same place i was a year ago" type of feeling, but now, i realize the differences and the realization feels good.

Justin, Aer and I went away for the weekend, hiking, staying in minbaks (little rooms attached to a Koreans home for people to rent out) going to the most famous temple in Korea. There was even a farm festival. For the first time in my Korean life i completely noticed the difference in the Korean accent between the city folk and country bumpkins. it felt great, like I've been here long enough and let in to some secret group - the group for those who have lived in korea long enough to distinguish the different Korean accents.

I met a lot of people who have lived here for 2 years or longer. There is a lot of stigma attached to foreigners who stay in korea a long time, and this stigma is attached BY other foreigners. It's like they are saying " what?!!? you have been here 4 years?!?!?! what the fuck are you doing with your life?" And even being here nearly 2 years I've gotten this from many people who just came here. And i hate it. who the fuck cares how long you stay here, maybe it's their career choice. After meeting these people I could picture myself hanging out in Asia for a lot longer. Time moves strangely after a certain period. I remember last year counting down the months, the weeks (till what? i have no idea, but i remember doing a lot of counting ) now, time flies and i hardly notice it at all. I'm rambling.

xo

eating sweet potatoes, cuz i aint sweet enough.

spring comes in and we take those cutie-pie kids to the park to learn how to plant flowers. not that we actually got to plant the flowers, no no, we just put them in pots and brought them back to the school. kind of funny, kind of korean. but hey a day out in the sun, well actually an hour, because that's all i have to work on Fridays.

This weekend was sun shine and sun smiles, and sometimes i grin so wide and of course because I'm the big white headed rainbow i am, people are always ALWAYS staring at me, but then the grin catches and they're grinning and I'm grinning even wider and laughing to myself. ok maybe i am going crazy. I feel different though, I don't know if India changed me or if i had to change once I came back and really really had to change, but I feel different, calmer, oh so much calmer. i can't even remember the last time i threw a pot at somebody's head (ok so that never happened, but boy could it have). India was all about learning how to relax because let's face it I'm pretty much a freak that can't sit still for any amount of time because there is too much to do and i don't have enough time to do it. why am i like that. terrified that if i don't do this or that or go here or there or stand on my head while reading a book and eating soup I'm going to collapse? I'm glad I'm maybe getting over it? and hey it only took 28 years or India or a heart break. chose your own adventure.
and i don't ever feel like I've eaten a bowl of glass for lunch or brunch or brinner. which unfortunately used to happen all the time. ohh life learning lessons my friends.

ok enough banter.

It was Cindy's wedding today. And here we are, so cute and whoah all wearing white like little angels, except for the woman of the day wearing her traditional hanbok (she did get married in a huge white wedding dress though, and there was this woman there, and her job was to fluff! fluff dresses, and wipe away tears with a q-tip. "what do you do?" "ohh i wipe away tears with a q-tip"). I miss working with these people SO much, that is the shitty thing about working at my new job, 6 pregnant women who don't talk to me and one western dude that doesn't really work at the same time as me. Korea weddings are pretty much like their western friends. people, dresses, pictures, posing and food. but the concept here is get in and get out. and then the loudspeaker came on "10 min till you have to leave". hahah. no wedding nori bangs here.




1. mascara stained pillows no longer exist in my world - I've decided.
2. I'm sorry i led everyone to believe i was coming home and ready to borrow couches and beds and hearts when I'm not. but you still love me!

3. Teri mcneil should come back to Korea, because i say so.

my freckles

are fading faster than you can say "Anapurna", and so are the memories of being in india. im semi giving up on korea. once again i don't know what to do. i've given myself one month.

the pros of staying:
-my job is FANTASTIC. the kids are AMAZING and lovely and they call all pronounce my name (this is a biggie believe me!!)
-my apartment is super cozy and i've made it into a craftastic pad (kristin remember kraft korner?)

cons:
-feeling lonely often, too often.
-not having the needed paperwork yet for the job.
-being ready to go, when i feel stuck

blah. today i feel blah. yesterday great, the last few days fucking fantastic, but today blah.

day four

yesterday i picked up my bike and i zoomed (well andrea styles zoomed which means not zoomed at all) around bundang singing stevie wonder at the top of my lungs. who doesn't love a girl with white hair on a granny bike singing superstition? I'm so happy to have my bike back and to see that winter didn't destroy it as i was worried it would have.

i'm staying at my friend's house for this week and it's interesting living with a korean family. her parents can't speak much english so poor Hwa sun has to sit and listen to her mother and then translate everything and wait for my response and do the same. and from watching Tarumina and Darmesh do this all the time in india, i know it can be exhausting.

i get to eat fish and rice for breakfast which is my favourite.

so the past few days have been better and better. the initial shock of heart break has worn off and i'm feeling alright? well nearly all right maybe. i'm so happy to have my friends. to get letters from everyone and to know that i have so many close connections with people in so many places. and this makes me wonder why i don't have this in korea. you know, i left india after meeting some amazing people in bhopal that i know i will keep in contact with and i have such an easy time making friends all over, but why the hell not in korealand? maybe things will change now that the situation is make friends or be alone.

ciao bellas

so long, farewell, i don't know how to spell in german...

how can i say goodbye to india? well however i do it today, i will be doing it from the toilet i'm sure. i've been sick for 90% of the time i've been here, i do believe. india and my stomach do not agree. and now i go home. and what do i go home to? i don't know. louis and i have not communicated in a week because well... i have no idea... he doesn't call me and doesn't answer his phone or email which leads me to believe that i may return to korea to face some horrible situation i didn't think would be the outcome of this trip. and for a small part i think my latest bout of stomach pain is due to this situation. i'm so confused and angry and ramblely

anyway, ignore the above verbal diarrhea (since i'm full of it anyway) and what else. today i forgot i was back in Delhi and wore a dress. after the walk of shame i just did to go get breakfast I'm weary of going back outside to walk to the hotel to change my clothes.

home i go ...